In these three short stories, Sadie the Swan takes The True Princess Test, the Pond Life are haunted by a Ghost Swan, and Bertie sees off Barker the Dog.
We first published the stories, right at the beginning of Storynory in November 2005. They formed introductions to our Christmas Carol Pantomime in three parts. This Christmas we decided to edit the Bertie stories out of audio, so that our listeners can get straight to Scrooge. Many of our new listeners won’t have heard them, and many of our long-standing faithful listeners won’t have heard them for a while – so we are republishing them here. We’ve added a little jazzy music for Pond Life atmosphere.
Bertie fans will notice that Colin the Carp has a slightly different voice. This is because he is played by Rob who took the part of Scrooge in the pantomime.
All other voices by Natasha. Proofread by Claire Deakin. Duration 9.48 minutes.
Hi everybody. My name is Natasha. And my name is Rob.
Here’s a piece of gossip I just picked up about Bertie the Frog. As you know, Bertie used to be a handsome prince, but now he’s been turned into a frog; and he lives in a pond with tadpoles, birds and fish to keep him company.
Bertie’s friend, Sadie, is a very special swan, who has lots of romantic daydreams. Sometimes she looks at her reflection in the pond, and imagines that her beautiful neck is rather royal!
The other creatures say that she’s always asking Bertie what it’s like to be a princess. Colin the Carp, who is a very grumpy fish, likes to take Sadie and her lofty ideas down a peg or two.
Do you know what he said to Sadie today? You don’t? Well, it was rather rude.
He said, “It doesn’t make any difference to you what it’s like being a princess. You’re just a swan. You’re stuck that way.”
But Tim the Tadpole said, “Perhaps she might be a princess really! Maybe someone turned her into a swan.”
Sadie became quite excited at the thought of that. “Do you think I’m a princess, Bertie?” She said. “Do you really?”
In reply, Bertie told her a little secret. “The beautiful Princess Beatrice has a special princess test. It helped her to tell who was a princess and who wasn’t. She would just ask them whether they wanted to take the princess test.”
“Can I take the princess test?” Asked sadie.
“Well,” said Bertie, “If they said yes then they weren’t really a princess, because a real princess doesn’t need to take a test – she just sort of knows.”
“Oh,” said Sadie, a bit sadly. “I might not be a princess, but I’m the most beautiful swan on this pond!”
But Colin the Carp wasn’t at all bowled over by her beauty. He grumped back at her, “Well, that’s not saying much. You’re the only swan on this pond.” And everybody laughed – except Sadie, who glided away with as much royal dignity as she could manage.
Now, if enough children listen to his stories, one day he will turn back into a prince – and perhaps, just perhaps, he will invite Sadie to come and live on a special ornamental pond, with a golden fountain, and her dream will come true – almost.
Here’s a piece of gossip I’ve just picked up about Bertie the Frog. As you know, he used to be a handsome prince, and when he was royal he was always extremely brave – and that’s why all the creatures who live on his pond always look up to him.
Now this morning it was very chilly weather down on Bertie’s pond. Mr Frosty had been through the vegetable patch, and everything was white and snowy, including Sadie the Swan.
Now you might not know this, but normally Sadie is a very special swan because her feathers are jet black. When Tim the Tadpole looked up from under a pebble in the bottom of the pond, he saw Sadie all glittering and white in the frost, and he was a bit frightened, because he had never seen a white swan before.
“Oh, ohhh,” squeaked little Tim. “Is that a ghost swan?”
Bertie was used to Tim’s silly questions by now. “Oh no!” He boomed. “Ghosts aren’t real, so that can’t be a ghost. That’s a new type of swan we haven’t seen before.”
When Colin the Carp heard Bertie telling this to Little Tim, he swam over and said, “Well Bertie, since you consider yourself to be the prince of this pond, and a natural-born leader of creatures great and small; perhaps you should go over and introduce yourself to our new friend – if it really is a friend, that is, not a ghost swan.”
“Oh cripes!” Thought Bertie. “What if it is a ghost? It’s all very well when you are a prince to be brave, but when you are a frog, things can be a bit scary sometimes.”
“Go on Bertie,” said Colin.
“Go on Bertie,” said Little Tim.
“Er, erm… Croak!” Said Bertie.
Just then the ghostly white swan glided throught the mist towards the little group of creatures. Tim quickly dived down, and hid behind a piece of green slime. Colin the Carp sank to the bottom of the pond amd pretended to be a lump of mud. Bertie wanted to hop away, but he was so scared that he found his legs were numb, and he couldn’t leap off his lily pad.
The ghostly swan said, “Hello Bertie. It’s so frosty this morning that my feathers are all white. Do you think I look like a princess?” And Bertie recognised the voice of Sadie the Swan – although she was normally a black swan.
He croaked a little, but no proper words came out of his mouth.
“Oh my dear Bertie,” said Sadie, sympathetically. “You’re such a pale shade of green today. Are you feeling well?”
“I think,” said bertie, “that I might be starting a cold.”
But Tim and Colin were secretly very impressed that Bertie hadn’t hopped away, and they thought that he may be a brave frog afterall.
There’s a dog who lives in the palace, and his name is Barker. Sometimes Barker comes down to the pond, and do you know why they call him Barker? You don’t?
It’s because he barks, and barks, and barks.
Tim the Tadpole, who is only very small, even for a tadpole, finds that a bit scary. So this morning, Barker was barking, and Tim was hiding bedind some green slime.
“I’m a bit scared, Bertie,” said Tim.
“Don’t be scared, Little Tim,” croaked Bertie, “he’s only a silly old dog.” But barker was growling, and then he dipped his big snotty nose into the water and started drinking.
Bertie jumped back. “You’re scared as well,” said Colin the Carp.
“Rubbish,” said Bertie. “I used to be a prince, and princes aren’t afraid of anything.”
Then Bertie looked across at Sadie the Swan. Now, Sadie is a very special swan; unlike most swans who are snowy white, she’s jet black and has a wonderful red beak. Although she’s very gentle really, sometimes she can be a bit frightening when she flaps her wings, and hisses, because she is in a bad mood.
Bertie, who was hiding underneath a lily pad, poked his head out of the water and said, “Sadie, how big are your wings?”
Sadie flapped her big black wings. “This big!” She said.
Then Barker looked up and the silly dog ran away, because he’s really scared of swans. As he started running, Bertie croaked at him as fiercely as he could. “Look, I made him run away!”
“Oh Bertie,” swooned Sadie, “You’re so brave!”
Any time you have a spare moment, drop by at storynory.com where you’ll find loads more stories. We have famous stories, which you might have heard before, but I hope you’ll enjoy listening to them again. And we have lots of new stories too, so come by and listen.
Dear Megan, Bertie is real prince in this story. However, he’s not real prince in reality. You know… Prince Charles is real prince in England (but he probably break royal rule so…) I think Prince William is avaliabe in England. No King in England… There’s a Queen of England.
Dear Princess Emma – William seems to be about to become engaged to Katie Middleton, so the papers say – and this is a really dangerous time for a prince, it’s just when he’s most likely to be turned into a frog, so he will be lying low for a bit I expect.
Keven, yes I can delete rude comments, but please let me know which ones. There are about 30 comments a day or so, and sometimes I miss a few rude ones when I’m in a hurry. I allow comments that are politely critical of Storynory, or me, but I don’t mean to let comments through that are rude about other people using the site. firstname.lastname@example.org.
I love the Bertie and katie storynories they r gr8 4 bedtimes
. Plz make more!!!!!!!!!!!! N e 1 who doesnt like the stories plz don’t put mean or rude comments about u it is just it opinion and evvy1 is entitled to their own!!!!! Plz reply Bertie but I don’t mind if u don’t.
September 17, 2012
Sorry bertie,I do not mean to be rude but please reply; you are like a celebrity to me!!
September 28, 2012
Dear Becki, I’m very flattered by your comment, and I do hope you continue to enjoy our Katie and Bertie stories.
Liked the storys but the future story you wote:Berty and the ghost said you beleved in them.
The storys had good plots and taking them a bit further would be nice
January 6, 2014
I loved . Storynory
January 23, 2014
I love stories.
January 23, 2014
Heeeeey!!!! This one is actually for Natasha. Did you read aloud a lot when u were a kid, because you are really good and your expression is really good. I Ike your stories but please do more Greek myths! I love love love LOVE Greek mythologies I know almost everything about the Greek gods but I still want to know more.
I don’t understand. The audio is not similar to the text.
May 25, 2014
where is the text?????????????????????
May 29, 2014
May 31, 2014
I really enjoy these stories I read them from
My phone all the time I’d like to get the app.
May 31, 2014
your story of three short bertie story but it was kind of weid
July 9, 2014
November 1, 2014
This story is awesome but maybe you could do a story about the nice witch turning you back into a prince but does the wrong spell and you become a giraffe And you ask your giraffe friends how to turn into a prince and they say that you should try saying pineapple 100 times and you be a prince again but only for a day or two and then you become a frog again. You could call it something like prince bertie is a giraffe.please reply bertie you are the best
November 15, 2014
Thank you for the suggestion, Me!
Jana Elizabeth —
November 15, 2014
Wow! You were right about short stories, Bertie!
December 15, 2014
January 19, 2015
I like Bertie stories but the music gets on my nerves 🙁 but great story (-:
January 30, 2015
i like the story and music
Moon over Eglehawk —
April 5, 2015
I don’t really like Sadie because she’s so snooty and thinks that only royalty and celebrities are worthy of any respect.
Cherry pie —
April 29, 2015
hi me and beth love your story’s but how can you hear the animals but no one everyone in the story’s can’t hear them also it my friends 10th birthday on the 6 of may 2015 so can you say happy birthday in a story or reply and say happy birthday
holly and beth —
May 5, 2015
Thank you Holly and Happy Birthday to your friend from Storynory!
Jana Elizabeth —
May 5, 2015
HEEEEEEEEY! I thought Bertie was haunted by the ghost of king Gorge! EXPLAIN THAT!!!!!!!! >:)
You don't need to know my name —
May 18, 2015
You are an prince now. You are a frog now but you will be an prince. If you reply I will tell you when! By by………
June 1, 2015
I like this story!!!!!!!????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????☘??☘☘??????
November 19, 2015
H-hi I like this story.I-I hope you g-guys have more stories.??⛷⛸!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!