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How Colin the Carp Became Grumpy

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Colin the Grumpy Carp Natasha’s storytelling has been coming in for some criticism of late, from none other than Colin the Carp (whom all the pond life know to be a particularly grumpy fish). This led to a huge argument on the pond, and eventually, after many protests and demands, Colin was forced to reveal the secret of how he got his grouch.

Told By Natasha. Duration 11 minutes
Proofread by Claire Deakin.

Just the other day, I was taking a walk through palace orchard, and picking some apples, and thinking to myself I would make some apple crumble because it is yummy-scrummy.  And I just happened to overhear some pond life talking to one another.

“Let’s play a game,” said Tim the Tadpole, excitedly. “We could play… er… play…”

But Tim was so excited that he swam into a stone and banged his tiny head.

“Why bother playing anything at all?” Said Colin. “Games are boring.” As it happened, the pond life couldn’t agree on what game to play, and so Sadie the elegant black swan suggested that they all practice swimming around in perfectly elegant circles, which is what she does to pass the time.

“Grrrr!” Said Colin. “Swimming in circles will get us nowhere.”

“I’ve got it,” boomed Bertie. “We’ll ask Natasha to tell us a story.”

Colin shook his scaly head. “Oh no, here we go again,” he moaned. “Natasha’s stories are soooo boring. She’s always going on about animals who talk. How ridiculous! Who could believe that?”

But when I heard Colin criticise my storytelling, I became quite cross. I put down my apples and walked over to the pond.

“What I want to know,” I said. “Is why exactly Colin is such a grumpy old fish.”

“Well said, Natasha!” Boomed Bertie. “I’ve been wondering that too! Colin, why exactly are you such a wet, ugly, grouchy, boring, and constipated old fish?”

Colin just opened and closed his mouth (as fish do), without saying anything. Quite honestly, I thought he looked a bit stupid. Then Sadie the Swan said, “Colin, my dearest fish, did you get out of bed on the wrong side one morning?”

“Don’t be silly,” snapped Colin. “I don’t have a bed.”

“Tell us, tell us, do tell us,” pleaded little Tim. “Why are you so grumpy?”

“Oh, no, don’t you start!”

But all the other little tadpoles started to swim in circles around Colin, singing,

“It’s raining, it’s pouring, and grumpy old Colin’s boring”
It’s been a long while, since we’ve seen him smile,
So we’re all going to ignore him.”

“Stop! Stop!” Pleaded Colin. “You’ll drive me nuts. I’ll tell you the story if you’re really that interested. At least it won’t be as boring as another one of those tales about the lovely Princess Beatrice and how she lost one of her fluffy toys.”

So this is the story of how Colin the Carp became grumpy.

Once upon a time, Colin was a merry young carp, happily playing with lots of other little fishes in the pond. He was laughing and joking and telling funny fishy jokes.

Then one day, two men came and sat down by the side of the pond. They took out a thermos of tea, and some marmite sandwiches, and made themselves comfortable. Then they pulled out some long thin sticks, which had some string on the end of them. They started throwing their lines into the pond.

“What are they doing?” Said the young Colin.

“I don’t know,” said his great friend, Crispen the Carp. “Let’s watch and find out.”

So they stuck their little faces out of the water and watched them.

“Well, well,” said one of the men. “It’s a good day for fishing, I reckon.”

As he did said this, he again tossed the line into the water not far away from Colin. Right on the end of the line was the biggest, juiciest dead insect that Colin or Crispen had ever seen.

“Wow, Jam-ie,” said Colin enthusiastically, because of course he wasn’t at all grumpy in those days. “I see what fishing is. It’s when humans come along and feed delicious snacks to the fish – and in particular the young carp – just to show how much they appreciate them.”

He started to swim nearer to the yummy-scrummy looking dead insect.

“No, wait,” said Crispen. “My mummy told me never to accept dead flies from strange men.”

So Colin waited, but he felt a bit sad, because the fly really looked really, really tasty. It was so fat and juicy that it was simply irresistible, He just couldn’t help opening his mouth and snapping it up – but oh no, now he felt a terrible yank in his mouth and suddenly he found himself wriggling in the middle of the air. And soon he was gasping from breath – for you see, as he’s a fish, he can’t stick his head out of the water for more than a short time.

“Oh dear,” thought Colin, “I think I’ve been a bit silly.”

“Oooooo!” Squealed Crispen. “It’s all a nasty, horrid trick. Poor Colin – now those men are going to bang him on the head and fry him for dinner with chips and peas and tomato sauce on the side – that’s what my mummy said people do to fish.”

As Colin was was wriggling in the air, one of the two men said, “Oh no, there’s nothing but a stupid baby carp in this pond.”

“It’s all rubbish,” snorted his friend. “Carp are the most tasteless boring fish in the world. Besides, that’s only a tiddler. Chuck him back in the water and let’s go home. My wife’s cooking fish fingers for lunch.”

So the man unhooked Colin and threw him back into the water. His mouth felt like he had the worst toothache ever. He sank to the bottom of the pond and hid under a stone, until much later when his mummy came and found him.

“So, you see,” said Colin as he finished the story, “after that, I decided that the whole world was a rotten place. Nobody likes carp – not even the fishermen. And if no one likes carp, then carp don’t like anyone else.”

All the pond life sat round quite silently, since it was really a very sad story, and they all felt a bit sorry for Colin.

Then Sadie the Swan said, “But don’t you see, Colin, its actually better if people don’t like you, because it means they don’t want to eat you. So really you had a lot to be happy about that morning, not sad.”

“And I like you too, Colin,” said Tim, “because you were once young and had silly thoughts, just like me.”

“And we all know it’s better just to live together on the pond,” said Bertie, “and listen to Natasha’s stories.”

On hearing all these kind words, Colin cheered up, just a bit, and even gave a small scaly smile. “Alright,” he said. “I’ll try not be quite so grumpy. Just so long as Tim doesn’t ask any more silly questions, and Bertie keeps his fat ugly mouth…”

“Now, now, Colin,” I told him. “That’s enough grumping for one day.”

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142 Responses to “How Colin the Carp Became Grumpy”

  • Sima says:

    I don’t like it

  • amilia says:


  • Dave says:

    As Natasha is included in this story and she can hear all the conversations that the pond life are having, why doesn’t she tell the princess about Bertie’s situation?

  • Lola x says:

    Dear prince Bertie pleas rply an answer (hopefully yes) to my idea .will u pretty pretty please make more stories about Valentine day its on Friday

  • Erin says:

    How meny story’s do you have on Storynory

  • colin,the fish says:

    i think you stupid humans talk to much.

  • dean says:

    I like this

  • Emily says:

    Love it please write more for me Bertie I love you

  • seattle says:

    my brother’s name is coiln.

  • meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee says:


  • Bertie says:

    Dear Megan Bertie just is. Keep listening!

  • Megan says:

    Hi Natasha and BERTIE,
    I am 12 and was wondering how did you come up with Bertie???? Oh, and by the way I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE your stories!!! Please keep telling stories. and bertie Do you think you will ever be a prince again? If so please still keep in touch with natasha so that she can still tell stories. and maybe she could tell a story about how you become a prince (if you do)

    Love Story Nory,

    Megan <3

  • PrincessE says:

    Bertie I’m glad that Natasha read to others tell her thanks for me

  • As says:

    This is the best ever, help me get to sleep at night I love all of bertie the frog I think u should keep writing them please cose I just love them

  • Katie says:

    Bertie how are you ?I love your story nory ideas there the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Katie says:

    Amazing!How are you Bertie? I love story nory ‘s

  • Katie says:

    Amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Katie says:


  • nate says:

    How Did: Sadie Get So Into Royalty. The Wicked Queen Get So Wicked. Tim Get So Inquisitive. And So On. :D -_- :D

  • Mmmeri says:

    Can you raed tihs?? I can. Tihs is baceuse poelp raed as a wrod and not by lteter… Cool huh. Jsut mkae srue you put the frsit and lsat lteters in the rgiht sopt…..

  • matt says:

    Dear A, I’m 20 and use storynory to help me sleep

  • Bertie says:

    Dear A we have lots of grown-up listeners.

  • A says:

    it’s not only that, i am about to be 14 and that is also embarrassing.

    I really hope you don’t take offense by this.

  • Bertie says:

    Dear A, it’s fine to listen to our stories to help you sleep. I think some of the words might make their way into your subconscious when you eventually fall asleep. Lots of people read or listen to music in bed to calm down their minds – so why not listen to stories ?

  • A says:

    I am really self conscious about the fact that I listen to your stories to help me sleep.( no offense) any tips?

  • Andrell says:

    Let me check my beard,my hand, my whole body oh yeah because there`s hair all over it.

  • Andrell says:

    let me check my beard,and my hand,and my whole body oh yeah because there’s hair all over it.

  • Andrell says:

    One exercise of the mind is the habit of forming clear and
    precise ideas.

  • Käte says:

    I hope I don’t meet colin!

  • Anonymous says:

    funny and sad except more funny hahahahaha :) Good sttory by the way

  • Natasha says:


    Thank you. This is a funny story in the Bertie series. Colin is a very grumpy fish of the pond who likes to make jokes in a dry way. There are many more Bertie stories you may enjoy including Tim’s Swimming Lesson and Bertie’s Car.
    Thanks for listening
    Bye Bye
    N *

  • Arushi says:

    Love you NATASHA and love the stories.

  • EPIC A says:

    Love you NATASHA and love the stories.

  • Super power girl says:

    I think that colin is nice Colin I think that you could have some chocolate this year

  • sady says:

    That was so amazing i love it every body at school calls me sady the swan

  • Audrey says:

    Colin the cob you some time you are a pain but I know there is still good in you!:):•}

  • andrew says:

    i think Colin the grumpy carp needs a quilt. In my opinion i think every carp needs a quilt. Does your carp need a quilt?
    Mr.carp owns his very own quilt but Colin the grumpy carp doesn’t own a quilt.

    Bertie is the guiding spirit of Storynory. Once he was a prince. Now he’s a frog who tells stories.

  • colin says:

    i really didn’t want to tell it..

  • [...] rule as people expected… not at first anyhow.Lovers of fishy stories will also enjoy How Colin Became Grumpy and The Golden Fish.Read by Natasha. Duration 20 minutes.It all began a week or so ago, when the [...]

  • SOFÍA says:

    i like a lot this story.

  • humara says:

    it is very good to listen the stories

  • Anonymous says:

    it is very good to listen the stories

  • noelia says:


  • badgirl says:

    wonderful story do you like it?

  • badgirl says:

    bad bad bad bad bad

  • Steffen says:

    The story shows a parallel to little children
    who should never take sweets and toys from
    strangers who might have something evil in
    their mind.

  • Morgen says:

    Great story!!!!!
    Oh and when Bertie says “and listen to
    Natasha’s stories” Natasha is spelled “Nataha”

  • Morgen says:

    Great story!!!!!
    Oh and when Bertie says “and listen to
    Natasha’s stories” Natasha is spelled “Nataha”
    But still Great Story!!!!!!!!!!!!! : )

  • caleb says:

    Bertie i like Colin the carp tell Colin the carp

  • Audrey says:

    Bertie, is there any way to make colin happy agian?

  • Audrey says:

    How sad=(

  • Aldair says:

    Nice story.
    i’m from brazil
    i like very much reading your stories.

  • Nish says:


  • ***Phoebe*** says:

    This is really fun………………………………
    I like Bertie stories.

  • Isaiah says:

    Awesome storynory!!I love it!By the way,its snowing a blizzard here.See ya later alligater!

  • Max says:

    It Was Awsome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • fatemeh says:

    hi Bertie I’m fatemeh!
    What a sight!this story is rather sad.Bertie can you put some funny stories?and please answer me.

  • Jeremy says:

    Who wants !!CARP!! for DINNER!?!Just kidding.

  • whats up says:

    fish i love fish !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)

  • mystery says:

    i always wondered why colin was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo grumpy :D

  • Tom says:

    I like Colin =)

  • haru says:

    I hate the fish story. just kidding!:]

  • Anonymous says:

    Amazing Story!!!!!


  • Anonymous says:


  • kelly says:

    collon is a grumpy old selfish mean fish

  • hey!!! not as silly as that….:))

  • joseph kwan says:

    Natasha ?not natalie?

  • neil (lego monster) says:

    i can sownd like him: aahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahah,i am anoying!. see?

  • mikayla says:

    it’s funny notttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

  • Anonymous says:

    this website rocks

  • Michelle says:

    ***Answer me Bertie!!!!!!***

    Well, Bertie, I have a ton of stories growing inside my head and notebook. So, now I ask you,when is the next writing competition coming up? Where? How to enter it?

    Loyal fan

  • Kelly says:

    Collin is ridiculous!

  • Michelle says:

    Nice story >v<

  • elliee says:

    but animals can talk i here them like the one time when my dog said i love you and likeddddddddddddddddddddd me so colin is so wrong

    i love the bit wiv all the tadpol i like it is the best well exp
    -spet for the six ones
    i love them bot
    i love them both
    i love them both
    i love them both
    i love them both
    i love them both
    i love them both
    i love them both
    i love them both

    i love them both
    i love them both
    i love them both
    i love them both
    i love them both
    i love them both
    i love them both
    i love them both
    more than any one ever even more then U

  • Bertie says:

    Frog Girl, Thanks for all your comments. Perhaps Colin is not so bad really. He’s certainly one of the more popular characters on Storynory.

  • Frog Girl says:

    It seems Colin needs a bit more happiness, kind words, time, and attention. Colin really is a nice carp on the inside but he won’t let it come out.

  • mia 3c says:

    It is very funny and quite silly I liked the bit when Colin the grumpy fish tryed to stop the tadpoles from teasing him. mia 3c

  • janelle says:

    i love ittttttttttttttt!
    i love it because it was… funny,weird,atractive,and lame.

  • hanh says:

    It’s funny my favorite characters are Colin and Tim whom are totally such opposites.

  • ???? says:


  • ???? says:


  • bhaavana says:

    Loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee itttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.

  • Bertie says:

    Dear Zoe – Good idea. We’ll have a fairy story one day.

  • zoe says:

    dear Nataha and Bertie

    It was a nice story I rilly liked it but do you have any story’s about fariys?

  • zhaoyuwen says:


  • Bertie says:


    Many thanks for your comments. Sorry, as this site is mainly for children we are very strict about not calling listeners so that everyone knows it is safe for their kids. That’s why we don’t exchange exchange telephone numbers etc in the comments.

    You are more than welcome to email me The address is

    Best wishes

  • Odunayo says:

    Hey Bertie i dont know how to send emails yet BUT I CAN CALL YOU HE YOU WILL GIVE ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER AND HOW CAN WE CHAT ON THE PHONE I AM IN NIGERIA SO MAYBE IT CAN BE DIFFICULT FOR US TO CHAT BUT I SURE WOULD LIKE IT pls reply now because i have got to run in about five minutes and how can i get to know more friends

  • kitty says:


  • Bertie says:

    Dear Odunayo,

    Really glad that you enjoyed Colin’s story. I’m afraid I can’t telephone you – but you are welcome to email bertie at storynory dot com if you have any questions or requests.

  • Odunayo says:

    Pls reply my comment and you can contact me on +++

  • Odunayo says:


  • Odunayo says:

    I liked the story and colin is not so grumpy its just that he does not understand why people dont like him and bertie had better like colin for who he is and them bertie i called you number and the person who picked it have me a different number could you give me your own number and it was a home story thanks to story nory thanks natasha and thanks bertie

  • Odunayo says:

    I liked the story and colin is not so grumpy its just that he does not understand why people dont like him and bert had better like colin for who he is and them bert i called you number and the person who picked it have me a different number could you give me your own number and it was a home story thanks to story nory thanks natasha and thanks bert

  • Roobydooby says:

    “Bannanas, in pyjamas, they’re coming down the stairs”
    Ok, great story, but it needs a little bit more guide to the storyline.

  • Ella says:


  • Evy says:

    This was a great story! Me and Olivia and my brothers think this is a great story. Really stupendous! Wow is the only word I could use to describe these amazing stories. I really thank you.

  • Mighty guy says:

    It was a good story still I feel sorry for Colin but you have to admit that was a very stupid thing to do(please don`t tell Colin that!!)Hey Bertie please tell Colin that if he thinks games are boring then why doesn`t he make up his own games????

  • [...] of fishy stories will also enjoy How Colin Became Grumpy and The Golden [...]

  • bobo says:


  • bill says:

    hi, cool story and eliminate Colin the nasty carp. anyway, check out my podcast at

  • bill says:

    bills commenthi, cool story. anyway check out my podcast at the below link“″

  • Munkhbold says:

    I like this story.thank’s Natasha

  • [...] a few up to date facts.!!! Personally it doesn’t surprise me that new kid members need our help How Colin the Carp Became Grumpy | Free Audio Stories for Kids | Storynoryshort story P.s jump the first paragraph __________________ Once bitten then bugged for [...]

  • odette says:

    I Like the story in a way that we readers somehow understand the feelings of little creatures.
    In life, young kids often being ignored as small, weak and dependent to matured people but what they don’t know is that, these kids have feelings and own way ofthinking.
    This story would be more likeable and fruitful if parents would join and participate with the kids while reading a bedtime story.

  • stephanie says:


  • stephanie says:

    wicked story its gud how do u make creative stories like this one !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!>??

  • haley says:

    i lick your story !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

  • Collin says:

    I don’t like my own story!

  • beth says:


  • abbie says:

    so how u doibg then

  • zack says:


  • Cian and Cole says:

    Curious Cole loved the story and Cian the first grader can’t wait to hear another story!!! Thank you!!

  • Jenny says:

    I have always wondered why Colin was so grumpy.Now I know and thank you so much!

  • Yvette says:

    Bertie. Don’t you think Colin is much safer and has no reason to be grumpy?

  • munibah says:

    i love stories

  • Bertie says:

    Tacy – Your wish is granted… the text is there now.

  • tracy says:

    Nice to hear a story, although I would have liked to have seen the text too!

  • martha says:

    thank this is great stuff nothing come close

  • annabananagirl says:

    This story is great!

  • annabananagirl says:

    You all are so silly!!!! ALL THIS DATE STUFF!!!!!!!
    Greg you crazy, She does not even know you!!!!!!!!

  • Opal says:

    Don´t worry, i´m not going to date Greg, i have no idea who he is!!!!

    so don´t you worry,and don´t faint :)

  • Sophie says:

    OH my gosh, I think im going to faint!!!

  • Sophie says:

    I worry for you Opal!!! All this loving and dating stuff makes me nervus!!!

  • Opal says:

    no….sorry no dates….

  • Opal says:

    ????? okay………………um….why???

  • Greg says:

    Opal you sound cute and I will do anything to protect you! :) And as for you all out there dount call Opal bad names! :( Baecause she is my princess :), and Opal want to go on a date with me? I know this is suden but i love you!

  • Opal says:

    I agree with all of the Bertie defenders, Colin is mean at times, so dont go thinking hes nice. Bertie is much nicer.

  • polly says:

    Colins fan, be patient, will ya? (your expresion)
    Stories will come, it just takes time. Stories about mean fish just dont pop out f nowhere.

  • Xixi says:

    I think so too, Bertie is indeed a Prince, so he oes deserve respect.

  • Yodela says:

    I agree with Bertie defender, she is smart. Colins fan has no right to say such mean things!
    Colin fan i think you should respect Berties opinion.
    And dont be soooo mean, because other people read this. And most of us think that what you say to Bertie is mean, after all he is a Prince, and he deserves some respect!

    Colin is still a good fish, but he isnt very nice, i still like him though, because sometimes he is a LITTLE possitive!

  • Bertie defender says:

    I agree with Bertie, Colins fan has no right to get angry with the poor frog. Bertie has a differend opinion on Colin, in fact, everybody does. So colin fan although you might think Bertie is bad to hate Colin, i think you are bad for not respecting Berties opinion.

  • Bertie says:

    Hello Colin’s fan,

    I have to concede that Colin is popular (despite being a wet, stupid, grumpy old fish). I don’t understand it myself, there it is… Colin is always pressing me for more stories about fish, particularly one where handsome and intelligent fish has many exciting adventures and wins the love of a princess. It’s a tough one.

  • Colin's fan says:

    No, Bertie. I disagree with your idea of Colin being ridiculous. Give poor Colin a break, will ya? Ridiculous he might seem, he’s one of the most intelligent and rational pondlife creatures.

    Bertie, why not tell us more stories about Colin? So far there’s only been one.

  • Aline 44 says:

    I like this story alot.Its funny and sad at the same time. I love it very much.

  • Bertie says:

    Hello Carmen, Colin is rather ridiculous sometimes, but shhhhh don’t let him hear you say that or he’ll be even more unbearable.

  • Carmen .H. says:

    I have bin wondering why Colin is soo grumpy for years and now in 2006 storynory answers it!! I like the part when Colin says: She always going on with animals who talk how rediculous, who could belive that? Then began to laugh out laud because he is a animal and he can talk so Colin i think you made mistake, YOU ARE REDICULOS!! :)

    From: Carmen .H.

  • jeny says:

    I was very fun.
    Thank you for reading a funny story.

  • Colin's fan says:

    Colin the carp is my favorite character of all the pondlife! He’s got attitude and he reminds me of myself when I was still a nasty young kid.

    I agree with Rita about showing the story’s full text here.

    Thanks Natasha and keep it up!

  • Rita says:

    This is my favorite pondlife story; excellent voice-acting by Natasha and it’s her best yet. But sadly the text isn’t provided here.

    Please provide the full text on this website, storynory!

  • ALASKA says:


  • Assad says:

    A wonderful service one can think about. Absolutely free and very interesting stories and poems, easy to download.

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